How To Get A Boyfriend As An Introvert

an introverted woman sitting half way down an empty pier staring at the ocean

Whether you’re an introvert or not, finding a partner isn’t easy. Between Covid-19 lockdowns, the explosion of online dating, and a plethora of new shows to get through, meeting someone organically can seem impossible. But is it extra hard for an introvert?

Getting a boyfriend as an introvert will mean pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. It means trying out apps, meeting new people, or even taking up new hobbies. Guys don’t just show up out of nowhere. But if you’re willing to put in the work, there are a few great ways to meet someone special.

So if you think you’re ready, let’s take a look at some low-pressure ways to ease you into the dating scene.

Where Did All the Guys Go?

a young introvert woman asking herself how to start dating a guy

Between Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Fortnight, and a million cat videos on YouTube, you might not be seeing as many men on the streets these days. And now, with Covid not going away anytime soon and lockdowns keeping everyone home, it’s even harder to find new people.

The good news is, if online dating isn’t for you, there are other ways to meet people.

Ask Family and Friends

The great thing about asking family and friends is that they know you. They know who you are and who might be a good match. In addition, they can tell the prospective guy that you’re a little on the shy side, taking the pressure off you right away.

Chances are your Dad, sibling, or close friend might have a single workmate or mutual friend. A fantastic, low-stress way to meet these people is at intimate dinner parties or social gatherings. Have your family or friend introduce you in a no-pressure, organic setting.

Meeting in this kind of situation gives you the freedom to leave whenever you choose. Or you have back-ups around if you’re struggling to make small talk.

Try a Singles Group

Singles groups don’t just have to be about meeting potential partners. They are full of divorcees, widowers, and people just looking for social interactions. Yes, they are single and in the group, likely hoping to meet someone, but it’s not always the priority.

Sites like MeetUp offer a number of different singles groups around the globe. Some are geared toward bringing singles together, while others focus on an activity, and meeting people is a happy addition.

a group of young men and women introverts at a park enjoying the evening

One group in Chicago is for people to get out and have fun together. Another in London is for people that enjoy the outdoors. You can join them on a hike with no romantic pressure.

Trying groups can help you to socialize and give you the chance to grow friendships, meeting like-minded people that enjoy the same things you do. Maybe you’ll make some new friends, or maybe you’ll meet someone extra special.

Should You Date an Introvert?

In theory, it should be a match made in heaven. You both would rather stay home together than go out, leaving a party will never be a chore, and there’s less pressure to chit chat.

The drawback here is meeting this guy. If you think it’s hard for you to put yourself out there, try being an introverted guy. The gender norms are tough when you’re not super confident, and establishing a relationship as two introverts can be tough.

The good news is, if you’re patient and can try to push yourself; you might just find your perfect partner.

Keep Calm and Download the Apps

You can’t overlook dating apps these days, and the truth is, they’re actually kind of perfect for an introvert. You control who you match with and can talk or not talk depending on how you feel.

As an introvert, it’s natural to resist social gatherings and new interactions. Staying home where it’s comforting and familiar is far easier than going out and putting on a smile. Small talk doesn’t come naturally to all of us, after all.

What if You’re Shy?

Being shy doesn’t mean that guys won’t notice you. But it can make it more difficult for them to approach you. Body language is a big thing, and if you’re keeping to yourself and not making eye contact, it’s possible a guy might choose not to come over.

a shy woman sitting in the passenger seat of a car next to her boyfriend

Downloading a couple of dating apps is an easy way for you to make those first steps. Take your time with the profile and maybe even mention that you’re shy. You can swipe left all day, reading profiles and getting into the concept without having to talk to a soul.

If someone does pique your interest and you match, feel free to take it slow. Start with a simple “Hello.” It’s not a date. There’s no pressure. You can unmatch at any time if you’re not comfortable.

You are in control here. If he wants to meet and you’re not totally ready, tell him. Ask to get to know him better. You’ll be amazed at how confident you can become when talking via text.

Try Bumble

For something super low-pressure, try out Bumble. Made for women, by women, this app puts you in the driver’s seat.

Like with other apps, you will need to make a profile, including pictures and some information. Similarly, you’ll need to swipe and try to match in the same way. But the big difference here is that communication is down to you.

It might sound scary, but actually, it takes the pressure off. What happens if you match with a guy you’re not actually ready to talk to? You don’t have to. With Bumble, the ladies have to start the conversation. This way, you’re not bombarded with greetings and can make a move when you’re ready.

an introvert woman looking through dating apps  in her home

A Word of Warning

Unless you’ve been hiding for that last few years, you will know that these apps can have a bad reputation. Often, they’re not designed to find the love of your life, and they can be home to some bad guys. By that, we mean guys that will send NSFW pictures without your consent.

Studies suggest that more than half of women receive such pictures, on and off the apps. This is why Bumble is a great way to get your toes wet. Guys can’t send you anything until you start the conversation.

But don’t let the shady side of online dating get you down. There are so many success stories online that prove it can work. The key is to go in with an open mind. It might not be where you find the love of your life, but it is a great way to meet people and start getting more comfortable in the dating world.

Cut the Stress. Just Do You!

If you’re feeling lonely and like you’re ready to meet someone special, it can still be hard to push yourself into new situations. Dating apps can be overwhelming, and asking friends for help might be awkward.

Instead of putting all your focus on finding the one, just try stepping outside of your comfort zone for you. You may find that once you’ve joined a group or started a new class, you start to feel more comfortable meeting new people in general. This should make dating a lot easier.

Try a Class

Whether you’re thinking about trying yoga, or taking up a new hobby, finding a class is an excellent, low-pressure way to step into the social world. If you’re interested in it, so is everyone else there. You already have something in common! Talking about the new spin instructor or how your most recent vase broke in the kiln is easier than trying to approach somebody with generic small talk.

The extra bonus here is that you will be getting out and expanding your circle naturally. Even if you don’t meet anyone who you can date, you might meet someone who has the perfect guy for you.

Final Thoughts

It might be overwhelming to think about dating apps, social groups, and gatherings, and dating in general. You’re not alone in feeling nervous, and it’s natural to be hesitant.

The trick is to take it slow. Once you understand that you will need to interact with new people, you can ease yourself into it with women-friendly dating apps or surrounded by friends doing something you love.

Just remember that it’s not life and death. You don’t have to meet up if you’re not ready, especially in a pandemic, and you don’t have to go into groups looking for love. Just putting yourself out there will open you up to a new world, and chances are, you will find someone great.

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